Too Many Things about My Power

I'm thrilled and heartened by the public and private responses I received after sharing my Immigration Story assignment. Here is another reflection made during my time in the Teaching Credential Program where I was asked to examine my "positionality"-- how I would use the different powers I would hold as an authority figure and potential role model in a diverse classroom setting-- and make a statement.

Whitney Houston knew that the children are our future. Queen.

Written August 2018 during my first semester as a teaching candidate.

I am an able-bodied, heterosexual, cis-gendered 28-year-old Filipino-American woman from a working class, military background. As the daughter of an enlisted Navy man, I’ve been granted the opportunities to live all over the world and experience a range of cultures firsthand.  As a first-generation daughter of immigrants, I continue to struggle in identifying my true unique voice: I aim to configure and blend my cultural identities rather than “deal” with the clashing ideologies those identities hold. Being a woman of color requires that I constantly grapple with social marginalization and accepting my own self-worth. For example, Filipino Catholicism shaped my early beliefs about female subservience, family gender roles, and sexuality rooted in guilt-based teachings.

My goal as an educator is to foster an empathetic, critically conscious generation of student citizens who value diversity, respect, and human dignity. It would be dishonest and naive of me to claim that I can separate my own experiences from the work I do as an educator. I hold the beliefs that the education system is inherently racist, sexist, and ableist; I believe that achievement gaps exist because of these disparities and are further perpetuated and corroborated by apathetic teachers who do not view teaching as a privilege and public service.

While I commend the increasing acknowledgment that these inequities were founded in white supremacy and patriarchy, I view many attempts to combat and dismantle the system as unsatisfyingly performative. My goal is to fight injustice and make an impact by using my cultural capital. I believe that hard work, science-based practices/research, compassion, the pursuit of multi-cultural perspectives in curriculum, and increasing the diversity of educators are key to make meaningful progress in the educational system.

I believe in love.

"It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Too Many Things about My Immigration Story

This is an assignment I had in my Teaching Credential program to reflect upon how I ended up in the United States of America.

A facebook post from 2012

Original prompt:

"For this week's discussion, share your experiences with immigration. If you are a first, second, or third generation immigrant, please share a bit about the motives behind the decision to migrate to the U.S. and your experiences. If you are Native American or simply don't know about your family's migration journey, please share your experiences/thoughts/perceptions of immigration in the U.S.  This discussion will help us gain a better understanding of the "push and pull" factors of immigration and the diversity in histories you will find in the classroom."

I am a native-born, first-generation American: my parents are immigrants from the Philippines. My father moved to the states after enlisting in the U.S. Navy in 1987, and my mom joined him after they were married two years later. Both of my parents are the first in their respective families to come to America; I am the first on both sides to be a U.S. citizen. Am I an experiment? An American Experiment?

I recently heard, for the first time, why my dad decided to apply to join the navy. In the 80’s, the U.S. still had a large presence in the Philippines and recruited local men; one of those men was dating my aunt. My dad recalled that he and his friends, recent engineer graduates, would pool their money together to buy food and share. He specifically remembered my aunt’s boyfriend— who returned to the Philippines on leave— buying his own bucket of KFC... which was more than enough food for himself, my aunt, and my dad’s crew. Amazed (and probably hungry), my dad and two of his friends initiated the enlistment process; my dad was the only one to be selected from his group of friends and over 300 other Filipino men. Those statistics continue to give me goosebumps. But also because of frickin' chicken.

My mother followed my dad. Her family is large and very poor, and she is still the only one of her siblings to leave the Philippines. Out of all of them, she is considered the most “successful”, and we send money to the family every month. As a military spouse, she found a government job in an office. She also graduated as an engineer, but did not pass the American examinations for her license. This is my understanding, but I’ve never directly asked her about the situation. She doesn’t talk about it. She continues to struggle with English 28 years later, but has grown more comfortable after finding friends in other Filipino military wives.

The inter-generational culture gap that exists in my family weighs heavily on my mind. The struggle of my parents has been hammered into my history: they left their home, they started a new life, they want me to have a better life than they did. The pressure of the precedent set before me and the expectation to “be better” is overwhelming and, frankly, burdensome. Humans of New York once featured a child of immigrants who felt weighed down by his existence "to validate all the risks they took and everything [his parents] went through". I think about that post a lot. My Filipino culture is entrenched in “owing back” and refers to this ideology as utang na laob. This means that I am forever indebted to my parents and God. I struggle with fulfilling this expectation, but also rectifying my beliefs about what my best life truly is. They thought I was going to be a dentist, and they definitely didn't think that I was going to become a teacher. I am never going to be able to change their ideas of success, and everyday my personal definition of success transforms into something more distant from theirs. Weirdly, I often think of my favorite Disney princess: Mulan. I owe a lot of my assimilation to media and entertainment; Mulan was the first popular character I saw that reflected me. How do I navigate the dichotomy of being an Asian daughter to be both the flower and the sword: battling to gracefully preserve the honor of familial heritage and culture versus blossoming into a fierce and formidable warrior by breaking through restrictive traditions of patriarchal society?

Too Many Things about FRIENDS Thanksgiving Episodes

It’s not truly Thanksgiving without watching every single Thanksgiving-themed episode of FRIENDS. Now, I will personally rank the nine episodes (because we’re missing a season two special) according to memorability, significance in FRIENDS history, and overall hilarity.

Here are the episodes in order:

• The One Where Underdog Gets Away, 1x9
• The One with the Football, 3x9
• The One with Chandler in a Box, 4x8
• The One with All the Thanksgivings, 5x8
• The One Where Ross Got High, 6x9
• The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs, 7x8
• The One with the Rumor, 8x8
• The One with Rachel’s Other Sister, 9x8
• The One with the Late Thanksgiving, 10x8

Here is the INDISPUTABLE, NATIONALLY-RECOGNIZED, OFFICIAL-ish Ranking from Great to Ultimate Supreme Best (according to me):

9. The One Where Underdog Gets Away, 1x9

source: tumblr princessconsuela

What the title is talking about: The Underdog float— from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade— is accidentally let loose over New York City, cementing this universe as an alternate one because, let’s face it, this would’ve been the headline of 1994. The gang are all 26/27-ish, so of course everyone decides to head to the roof (in November!) to see the giant balloon pup fly away. They get locked out, and the whole feast is burnt.

Christelle thinks too much about it: I mean, if you think about it, they were all “underdogs” at this point in life: Rachel is trying to raise money to book a last minute plane ticket, Chandler is trying to forget his family issues, Joey’s job turns out to be a bust, recently-divorced Ross feels abandoned because his parents neglected to tell him they’ve opted to go on vacay, Phoebe is just floating around, and Monica is stressed over hosting her first Thanksgiving. Aren’t we all underdogs at this age? (PS. I’m currently this age.) This is the first Thanksgiving episode of the series, so it's not the best... but IT ISN'T BAD. On the contrary, it's good television and well executed; it's just sad because it's a little too real, and no one really wants to be there.

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• We learn that Chandler hates Thanksgiving
• Monica hosts Thanksgiving for THE FIRST TIME. #precedent 
• It’s hinted that Ross, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler come from rich families.
• At the end of the episode, the gang realizes they should've been each other's first choice all along (which is probably why each Thanksgiving from then on is so much better.)

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: Monica's high pitched freak out, and Chandler letting her know that only dogs could hear her.

Best Joey food moment: Joey gets the bigger half of the grilled cheese sandwich... because he wished for the bigger half.

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)

A dark sweater and dark pants. Hmmm, how disappointing. Maybe that's why I unconsciously ranked this episode so low?

Standout line:

“Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined. Potatoes are ruined." -Monica

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“Got the keeeeeys?” -Monica/Rachel

Thanksgiving MVP: 100% Monica. Poor Mon.

8. The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs, 7x8

source: tumblr princessconsuela

What the title is talking about: Chandler reveals that he hates dogs after he finds out that Phoebe has been secretly dog-sitting for a friend in their guest room. That's... kind of it. But it's very cute that Joey knew this deep dark secret before anyone else. "They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking and that scares me a little bit!" Oh, Meester Chandler.

Christelle thinks too much about it: The One With Chandler's Dumb States Game, because that's the best plot line of the episode. In all of the chaos of the previous years, things were pretty toned down this year in the apartment. The comedy of this episode is based a lot on us knowing and understanding these characters: Ross' inability to name all 50 states and his subsequent refusal to eat any Thanksgiving food until he names every state is pure FRIENDS gold. Also, the way all of the Friends cover for each other in order to protect the dog is very sweet.

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• Chandler’s Dumb States Game 
• Joey know 56 states.
• “Moo Point” 
• Chandler is scared of dogs. Especially puppies. 
• Ross thinks ice cream is "too cold". 
• Rachel hits on Tag and they start going out. It’s pretty damn inappropriate. But still, Tag is so priddy. 

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: Phoebe's dog voice.

Best Joey food moment: "Okay, I'm in my sweatpants. Bring on the food!"

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)
Black sweater and black leather pencil skirt. (Not yet! This outfit is straight fire.)

Standout line:

“A Moo Point. It’s like a cow’s opinion: it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.” -Joey

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“Ohmygod did you hear that she said ‘Monica!’” -Monica 

Thanksgiving MVP: Joey. Moo Point is the best thing ever.

7. The One with Rachel’s Other Sister, 9x8

source: tumblr princessconsuela

What the title is talking about: Rachel’s terrible, terrible sister, -- not Reese Witherspoon-- causes a lot of drama when she crashes Thanksgiving dinner. She honestly, truly, believes that she should be named the guardian for baby Emma if Ross and Rachel die. She also constantly calls the baby "Emmett" or "Emily". The result is a lot of broken plates.

Christelle thinks too much about it: This is the best Ross and Rachel have ever been together, and they're not even together. The contrast between Rachel and her still-spoiled sister really highlights how much Rachel has grown... I'm so proud of her. And how loveable is Chandler for stepping up and defending Monica's china??? (Even though they're not the pretty pink flower ones he picked out!)

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• This is the first Thanksgiving where Chandler and Monica are married.
• Emma's first Thanksgiving
• Monica and Chandler would become the legal guardians of Emma if Ross and Rachel died
• Joey was invited to the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade for Days of Our Lives
• Monica’s fancy wedding china plates

Random FRIENDS thing(s) that I love: Chandler considers himself the guardian of Joey.

Best Joey food moment: Joey gets the not-as-fancy plate because he “wins” the "special plate".

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)

Brown turtleneck and tan slacks and pointy brown leather shoes. It’s that mom life, yo. But she's rocking it. (I'm not there yet.)

Standout line: 

“Just to be clear: comedy with the plates will not be well-received." –Monica before she pinches Ross

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“Forget the bubble wrap, there isn’t time!” -Monica

Thanksgiving MVP: Daddy Chandler Bing

6. The One with the Late Thanksgiving, 10x8 

source: tumblr princessconsuela

 What the title is talking about: Monica and Chandler decide to skip hosting Thanksgiving because of stress from the adoption process. Everyone gets upset at this, myself included, so Monica gives in and vows to make it the best Thanksgiving ever in order to, you know, top herself from last year. Because competition against herself is her favorite. And everyone shows up late, so Monica and Chandler lock them out.

Christelle thinks too much about it: I just realised that this is the last Thanksgiving in the apartment EVER because they move to the suburbs in the finale! I'm upset again.  There’s an element of meta-narration where they make a big deal out of Thanksgiving: you can practically hear the writers arguing and complaining about doing a “Thanksgiving episode” and ultimately trying to top every previous Thanksgiving.

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• The floating heads
• Chandler watches Dr. Phil for relationship advice
• Joey play Rock-Paper-Scissors with “fire” because it “beats everything”
• Monica’s angry vein
• Monica and Chandler get news that they were chosen to get a baby (from Anna Faris)

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel putting things in Joey's pants when he is stuck in the door

Best Joey food moment: Joey getting turkey greased to lubricate his head.

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)

Short-sleeved black and white contrast collar. (I’m all about this lewk.)

Standout line:

“Get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say.. chan-berries?” -Chandler

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“In your face, last-year me!" -Monica

Thanksgiving MVP: The Bings. Chandler for being so proud of his cranberries and skipping the Rangers game to support his hard-working wife. Monica for always being the best host.

5. The One with Chandler in a Box, 4x8

source: tumblr princessconsuela

What the title is talking about: Chandler repents for his transgressions against Joey by spending the time in a box. The reasons for the box are three-fold: Joey spent hours locked in the cabinet thinking about how he disappointed Chandler, and therefore Chandler must reap the same emotional and physical pain.

Christelle thinks too much about it: Ross is dick. Chandler is apologizing for being a dick. Monica is trying to get some d-- nevermind. This is a weird, messy Thanksgiving, but the jokes are really, really, really good. So good that this episode land firmly in the middle of my ranking. This could've been a crappy Thanksgiving, but at least they didn't burn the turkey!

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• Chandler prefers the parade to the football game 
• Monica kissed Richard’s son. It’s so so gross. But, he’s also Michael Vartan, so I get it. 

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: Monica's shiver when she feels grossed out and Joey/Rachel's "Va fa Napoli!"

Best Joey food moment: Poor Joey is so upset that he hardly eats (on camera).

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)

Black sweater and a mini skirt. Tights and black knee-high boots. (This is my winter default.)

Standout line:

“Judge all you want but:  married a lesbian, left a man at the alter, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, lives in a box!” -Monica

 Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“He’s so cute that I’m thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.” -Rachel

Thanksgiving MVP: Joey "Cinnamon Roll" Tribbianni for having the grace to forgive Chandler.

4. The One with the Rumor, 8x8

source: tumblr centralperksource

What the title is talking about: Apparently, Brad Pitt and Ross were in an “I Hate Rachel Green” Club in high school, and they started a rumor that Rachel had both male and female genitalia. Even Chandler knew about “the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island”. (I know this was in the early 2000's, but...  intersex people exist and we shouldn't use them for derogatory comedy. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.)

Christelle thinks too much about it: Holy crap you guys, Ross made out with a sexual predator.

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• Ross made out with his old librarian, but they didn't have sex because he lost his virginity to Carol
• Rachel was so popular that her alleged extra-bits didn't matter
• Phoebe had a “French Club” that met behind a dumpster when she was homeless

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: Phoebe and Chandler bonding over pretending to watch football. "It's only, like, my favorite bay!"

Best Joey food moment: Joey cleans up half of the giant turkey, leaves, returns wearing maternity pants, and finishes it all. And wants a “real slice” of pie for dessert.

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)
Ivory lace peasant top. (Oh, 100%)


Standout line:

“Dear Rachel, you’re such a great person. Sorry about your teeny-weeny.” -Rachel reading her yearbook

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“Here come the meat sweats.” -Joey

Thanksgiving MVP: Phoebe. She saw the opportunity to hug Brad Pitt and SHE SEIZED IT.

3. The One with the Football, 3x9

source: tumble princessconsuela

What the title is talking about: The gang decides to play a “friendly game of touch football” while waiting for the turkey. Ross and Monica reveal that they aren’t allowed to play football because they were too competitive as kids, and their parents banned them from the sport. The Geller siblings give in, and the game quickly turns brutal. GELLER V GELLER brutal. 

That’s the most brutal of brutal.

Christelle thinks too much about it:: I think this is my most-watched Friends episode: I learned how to bunny up to pick Captains, how not to trash talk, and how to be ruthless when it comes to boys vs girls games. It’s strange to see Joey and Chandler go after the same woman, especially because in the next year Chandler will end up stealing Joey’s girlfriend and spending Thanksgiving in a box (see rank number 5). It’s also the only Thanksgiving that Ross and Rachel are actually a couple, and he ends up trading her to the other team in order to win (“I cannot believe you’re trading me!). Yikes. But the football montage is brilliant, their sweats are fab, and the boys slow-mo high-fiving as the girls huddle in the final moments of the game is one of my favorite Ross-Joey-Chandler moments ever.

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• The Geller Cup 
• Monica is a beast in all aspects of life. 
• Marshmallows need to go in concentric circles. “Every year.” 
• The ICONIC Boys vs. Girls football game 
• I think this is the first time we hear Phoebe breathlessly utter, “oh my god!” 
• Evidence of Joey’s character decline: he doesn’t think the Netherlands are a real country. 

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: Every. Freaking. Huddle.

Best Joey food moment: Joey's dad wisdom at the end of the episode.

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)

Backwards baseball cap and pigtails, sweats, and layered shirts. (Yes. Whenever I planned to play football.)

Standout line:

“Okay, first of all, I don’t play with cheaters, and second of all, you know I had swollen glands!” -Ross

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“Mini-wave in celebration to me!” -Chandler

Thanksgiving MVP: Phoebe. She learned the game in the span of a huddle, and she was awesome.

2. The One with All the Thanksgivings, 5x8

source: tumblr princessconsuela

What the title is talking about: Everyone reminisces about their worst Thanksgivings as they food coma. It’s a flashback show!

Christelle thinks too much about it: No one knows that Monica and Chandler are together at this point, so Chandler being upset and Monica trying to apologize goes waaaaaay deeper than a Thanksgiving argument. How do all of the other friends not notice? Also, CHANDLER IS THE REASON MONICA LOST WEIGHT AND BECAME A CHEF? The affection and history between these characters are so tangible: every little detail—from Joey’s leather jacket to Jack and Judy asking Ross about his “new girlfriend” Carol—brings this characters to life even more.

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• Chandler and Monica first met on Thanksgiving day.
• Turkey heads turkey heads turkey heads
• Chandler said “I love you” first!
• Chandler is missing the tip of his toe

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: Ross and Chandler were practically married during college.

Best Joey food moment: Obviously, Joey’s head stuck inside a turkey. To scare Chandler.

What is Rachel wearing? (Have I reproduced this outfit before?)

Rachel in shoulder pads. (No, that's okay.)

Standout line:

“She’s on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!” -Ross

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“Oooooooh I loooove macaroni and cheese. I love the way this box feels against my cheek.” -Monica

Thanksgiving MVP: Monica. Good for you for getting fit, girl. And sticking your head in that turkey.

And my favorite Thanksgiving episode of Friends is...

1. The One Where Ross Got High, 6x9

source: tumblr

What the title is talking about: Ross blamed Chandler for the pot smell in his dorm room during college, and the Gellers have disliked Chandler ever since. This is problematic because Monica hasn’t told them that she is living with Chandler now. 

Christelle thinks too much about it: This is an example of how to masterfully connect all of the stories together. Each character plotline is juggled perfectly and paid off in freaking spades when all of the characters start exclaiming things. Phoebe is attracted to Ross and Mocia's dad, Rachel really, really, really messed up the trifle, Joey wants to introduce the hot dancer girls to the New World (just like on the first Thanksgiving), and Chandler is trying his best and failing miserably.

Oh, any time Ross and Monica revert back into being bratty, childish siblings… well, that’s Thanksgiving. And their brother-sister relationship is one of the gems of the entire series.

Most significant moments in FRIENDS canon:

• Rachel’s traditional English trifle. “Oh, remember that Thanksgiving where Rachel screwed up the trifle?” 
• The first Thanksgiving where Monica and Chandler are living together 
• The dirtiest Friends joke: “The pages are stuck together!” 
• Chandler pays for Joey’s acting classes 

Random FRIENDS thing that I love: "You only got whipped cream! You gotta get one with all the layers! Oh, you dropped a pea!".

Best Joey food moment: My sweet, sweet Joey ate all of Rachel’s trifle. “Jam? Good. Custard? Good. Meat? Gooooooood.”

What is Rachel wearing? (Has Christelle reproduced this outfit before?)

Red sweater and a festive apron. (I need to go apron-shopping.)

Standout line:

“It tastes like feet.” -Ross

“It’s Thanksgiving, not Truth Day!” -Ross again

Line that I quote way too much and doesn’t always make sense out-of-context:

“I love Jacque Cousteau!” -Phoebe

“I’m going to eat it on the balcony. So I can enjoy the view WHILST I enjoy my dessert.” -Chandler

Thanksgiving MVP: Judy Geller. That really was a lot of information to get in thirty seconds.

http://fan1bsb97.tumblr.com/post/103724075723/friends-rewatch-6x09-the-one-where-ross-got

So there you have it! My official ranking:

1. TOW Ross Got High
2. TOW all the Thanksgivings
3. TOW all the Football
4. TOW the Rumor (Brad Pitt)
5. TOW Chandler in a Box
6. TOW the Late Thanksgiving
7. TOW the Other Sister
8. TOW Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
9. TOW Underdog Gets Away

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Too Many Things about The Future

I've spent today thinking about Time and my place in it. What moments in my life would I revisit and change? Who would I like to become to make my younger self proud? What kind of person would I like to have by my side during my adventures? Most of all, when the situation arises for me to be brave (whether through action or the inaction of learning to let go), will I be able to do so?

I'll strive to not screw up so badly that my mistakes are unfixable; I still have the power to write my own history. The future is now.

Flux capacitor fluxing.

Your Friend in Time,
Christelle

October 21, 2015

Too Many Things about being a Nerd of Color.

I'm the newest contributor to The Nerds of Color, a website community "not afraid to look at nerd/geek fandom with a culturally critical eye." 

"If I had a Horcux, it'd probably be my Terminator boxset." by Christelle G.

I'm really excited to cover some of the "many things" I enjoy, specifically the nerdy things. I'm even more excited to utilise my voice as a Filipino-American. I was nervous about writing and nervous about being such a public representative for Asian-American nerds, Filipino-American nerds, and Female nerds.... but then I realised that I am ALWAYS all of those things. No matter what I do, I am an ambassador to those cultural identities.

So thank you for listening and making me feel heard.

Love, Christelle xxxxxxxxx

Here is an excerpt from my nerd origin story:

Now is it terrible to admit how often I forget that I’m a “nerd of color?” I mean, I know I’m a nerd: it’s the “of color” bit that I don’t usually remember right away.

I remember being really excited about Lana Lang on Smallville because the actress was half-Asian, and she had hair like mine! And her last name was “Lang!” That meant the TV version of her was now Asian, right? Eeeeeee, not really. That was kind of a bummer. Oh, and then Lucy Liu was one of Charlie’s Angels! She was the smartest angel and worked the best slow-mo hair and had those rare Asian freckles and got to hang out with the beautiful, cool white girls! Read more.....  

Make sure you follow us on twitter (@TheNerdsofColor) and like us on Facebook (The Nerds of Color)! Nerd on!

Too Many Things about Ted Mosby.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a rant about the show. This is not about what I thought of HIMYM's series finale or Barney/Robin or the underappreciation of Jason Segel. This is about my favorite character on the show, Ted Evelyn Mosby. That being said...

If you were to pry my personal journal from my cold, dead fingers and flip through the different entries, you'd find out that many of them reference CBS's  How I Met Your Mother. No, not in that Barney Stinson Catchphrase kind-of-way that seems to have completely pervaded the colloquial lexicon of every adult male with Netflix (Christelle note: Please stop using the word "Legendary!", you are not and will never be Neil Patrick Harris. And stop telling me to 'wait for it'!), but in the Every Time Ted Mosby, Heart of Gold, Realises How Hopelessly Lonely He Is Waiting for His Future Wife I Cry in Pathetic Self-Reflection kind-of-way.

It gets pretty tough.

Before I wax poetic on the unicorn that is Ted Mosby, however, I would just like to point out the phenomenal popularity of HIMYM despite it being, essentially, a TV romcom series (SitRomCom? Romantic Sitcomedy? Situational Romance? Whatever, I love it.) This is important because I guess it means that America still roots for love stories, right? Maybe. So let me pose this question: would a show featuring a female Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Dad) hold the attention of HIMYM fans? My guess: probably not. Some chick looking for The One? Shpff, all girls are looking for the one, yadadaimsayin yadadamean bro? Hardy har har.

As sad as it is, I don't think the premise would work if a woman was the main (love)storyteller, but the unwavering Romantic, Ted Mosby, managed to keep us captivated for ten flipping years (No seriously, every time Ted revealed a little clue about The Mother, I would flip my proverbial lid. "She sings to her breakfast y'all!" "She went to Columbia, so she's smart!!!! SHE LIKES PABLO NERUDA I'M GONNA DIE!!!" All of these are actual tweets.) as he told "his children" how he met the Girl of His Dreams after banging an almost way too high amount of NYC strangers. The obliteration of this character binary is one of the reasons Ted is my favorite: although an obviously heterosexual male, Ted Mosby defies "traditional" leading man characterization by possessing the qualities usually reserved for the female leads in a Nora Ephron film a.k.a. bent on finding their soulmate. Ted makes this okay, likeable, and generally accepted by a wider range of audiences utilising the way-too-easy RomCom Leading Man advantage of simply being a heterosexual male.

Sure, there were times when you'd want Ted to stop whining. You yelled at your TV for him to stop being a doofus. You cringed every time he second-guessed his painful relationship with Robin unless that was just me. But if you were honest with yourself and truly a fan of the show, deep down you were rooting for Teddy Westside to meet his awesome so so so awesomely perfect tropical bird of a wife.

Ten years waiting for this rainy day, train station Meetcute was worth it. Best Meetcute ever.

So, suffice to say, I heart Ted Mosby— I volunteered to be The Mother on a weekly basis— and at the risk of getting too Buzzfeed-y, here are some reasons why:

Ted isn't embarrassed or afraid to get excited about things. Love. Star Wars. Renaissance fairs. Being vomit-free since '93. Ted finds joy— pure adorkable joy— in the parts of life that others may not see, and he isn't ashamed by any of it. He is fiercely brave, and that trait is tremendously endearing.

Ted Mosby is unwilling to settle. He is hopeful and incredibly resolute in his romantic beliefs. (Also, I just used thesaurus.com to find the perfect word "resolute". So here are a few more words that I like which describe Ted's optimism concerning The One: steadfast, unyielding, inexorable, obstinate, rigid, unwavering, uncompromising..) His blind faith in waiting for that person— a person he doesn't even know yet who is supposed to not only fulfill his expectations, but also blast through them completely— gets emotionally difficult to watch... but I can't look away. I want it, too, Ted.

Ted Mosby is a good friend. Many times throughout the series, Ted falls into the sidekick role (to Barney, Marshall, Lilly, and Robin) and doesn't seem to mind at all because he truly loves the people he calls his best friends. And in the end, Ted knows (just like we know) he is the star of his own story. He is loyal to a fault... even when this means having to dish out some harsh truths or listening to some harsh truths told to him. He will always lick the Liberty Bell.

Sleepless in Seattle is totally one of Ted's favorite movies. He reenacted the entire movie using the model Empire State Building that he built because HE'S AN ARCHITECT.. Tom Hanks' profession in the movie. Oh, you know that was at least 33.3% of the reason Ted decided to become an architect— because it was a romantic career. And it allows for his poetic soul to "listen to the buildings."

Even when his life gets really, really, really shitty, he doesn't lose hope for his happy ending.  Yeah, he questions it sometimes. He wonders (just as we wonder) if he's being a complete idiot, but he picks himself up. Remember when he got fired and got left at the alter and his ex and his best friend hooked up and his architecture firm failed and he got beaten up by a goat? Ted Mosby remembers. But he's happy about all of those shitty, shitty things because he knew that journeys towards yellow umbrellas and train stations are full of homicidal goats.

Ted Mosby is a freaking nerd. Remember his Before-I-Leave-New-York To Do list to "fix" the graffiti he hates so much? So much about this moment makes me want to mother his Mosby babies.

He's so pleased with himself.

Ted Mosby says the most insightful things ever.  And it is damn sexy.

• "That's the funny thing about destiny: it happens whether you planned it or not."
• "Kids, you can't cling to the past because no matter how tightly you hold on, it's already gone."
• "You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face. There's a third option: you can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone, and you can move forward."
• "A word in defense of making an ass out of yourself: it's underrated."
• "I think for the most part, if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you."

Ted Mosby's Speech to The Mother before he even knew her. This is probably one of my favorite things to happen on this show. It's on a night when he finds himself alone. And sad. So in his imagination, he runs through New York City to where his future wife lives:

source: http://youtu.be/d9Q-rW433l0

"I love you. I'm always gonna love you, til the end of my days and beyond. You'll see."

I heart Ted Mosby.

-Christelle

PS. A GIF of Ted Mosby using the phrase "too many things".

Too Many Things that I find in my Camera Roll.

When I got a new phone, you bet your first world problematic ass that I went for the 32GB upgrade. I mean, doesn't GB stand for "Gold, bitches!!!" (Christelle note: I know GB stands for gigabytes; I'm not an idiot. I was trying to be relatable in that, "I'm real y'all I call people 'bitches' and 'y'all' because I'm a person that's updated with the lingo, bae. Also, people shouldn't be called bitches, but for some reason calling people bitches makes them more approachable-ish. Just based on my personal observations. Of the characters in millennium-era teen movies.)

Okay, I take the "bitches" thing back because I feel incredibly uncomfortable even as I type this.  The point I was trying to make is that memory space on  a phone is precious, and despite having 32 gigs of it, there is still never "enough storage space" (DAMN THAT POP-UP!) for me to record a video of  Sir Paw McCartney hiccuping as he rolls over for me to rub his belly (IT WAS ADORABLE! Damn you, lack of storage space!) At this point, the only sensible thing to do is that thing of pointless browsing through my phone's photo albums  and systematically deleting the pictures that  a) have already been uploaded, b) have at least 10 other exact photos due to a photoshoot session with a trigger-happy photographer, and c) probably exist on Facebook or Instagram already.

And I found a crap-ton of random pictures. Seriously, go through your phone.  I encourage everyone to cleanse their camera rolls and time travel to moments you forgot you felt the need to capture.  In honor of these finds, I present to you When Was This Wednesday (#WhenWasThisWednesday #WWTW), a spinoff of Throwback Thursday during which I have no idea when certain pictures were taken and I can't help but think, "When the hell was this?"

Ideally, some of these mysteries would be solved-- perhaps friends can provide any information they have or clues from said-photos could reveal more contextualization  for each #WWTW, but it's mostly just stuff I need to upload somewhere so that I can delete it.  That works too.

Alright, first #WhenWasThisWednesday #WWTW photo! I'm definitely wearing Gryffindor robes in this picture. 

-Love, Christelle x