Too Many Things that happened during iHeartRadio (and how Niall Horan helped me win tickets).

I spent the weekend in Las Vegas, but not in the way that cool, fun 24-year-olds are supposed to. I am not cool.  All of my friends know that I am awful in Vegas. I am very, very, very bad at Vegas-ing. I feel guilty when I gamble. I have no stamina for day-drinking. Pool parties gross me out. Oh, and I always feel like an ugly, mishapen hobgoblin surrounded by thin, beautiful fairy sprites with perfect curls and teeny tiny dresses.

There are only two reasons for which I am totally down to attempt Vegas: casino buffets and the iHeartRadio Music Festival aka the most unreal concert lineup to ever exist. This year I got free tickets to the iHeartRadio Village which takes place during the day (in the desert, btw), but didn't get tickets to the night concerts.

I got really close to the stage, y'all. This was at the start of the festival... before the Neon Trees guy jumped into the crowd and I weaseled my way to the front.

The Village was nuts, mainly because 5 Seconds of Summer (affectionately called 5SOS "five-sauce" by everyone who has a twitter account) was performing so, naturally, herds and herds of lovestruck teenage girls were mobbing the stage to get as close as possible. As I watched the strategic shoving and cutting and crawling towards the front, I thought of my inner fangirl that I had let fade away.

Christelle note: For those who do not understand 5SOS's popularity, the band was 'discovered' by One Direction's Louis Tomlinson and opened for the past two 1D tours. They acquired an immensely passionate and large fanbase due to the fact that they are amazingly talented and hilarious and adorkable and just very good-looking. And Australian. And I'm pretty sure all their fans are willing to sleep with them because they have giant penises or something.

I had been at that level of desperation only a year before: It's your favorite band and you feel like you know them and you truly feel like that if he makes eye contact with you or your boobs during the show, you two will hit it off and you will get the chance to be in his life. Notice me. See me. Acknowledge that I exist. Acknowledge that you're as real as I think you are.

If you follow me on twitter or any other social outlet or have my phone number, I have calmed down significantly with my 1D obsession. I don't tweet them on a daily basis anymore. I don't have any phone alerts. I've unfollowed the numerous update accounts on twitter/instagram/tumblr that let me know where their beautiful faces were at all times. But here I was in the same city as them, and they were performing that night at a show I didn't have tickets to. Now, all of a sudden, I felt like I was about to go insane and cry like a spoiled, entitled 12-year-old One Less Lonely Girl. But I tried not to think about it.

So the performances (Jake Miller, Neon Trees, Childish Gambino, 5SOS, Meghan Trainor) were amazing. My friends and I spent the rest of the afternoon picking up free iHeart swag and hydrating because we were in the freaking desert and had been up since 6am which is very dangerous and stupid but we did it FOR THE MF-ING MUSIC! So before we left, my friend Roxciie spotted some cardboard cutouts of One Direction. No shit, we had to take a picture.

It took a lot of effort not to grab the Niall cardboard cutout and run out of there.

HERE'S WHERE MAGIC HAPPENED.

Now, as a 24-year-old in a public space trying not to get creepy with cardboard versions of Niall Horan and Harry Styles, I think I handled myself pretty well. After the picture session, a woman wearing an iHeartRadio tshirt asked us, "Do you like One Direction?"

An innocent question. Oh how little did she know. I could've told her I've followed them to golf courses and made them personalised superhero capes and managed to make my way into a private VMA rehearsal and somehow was part of their first VMA performance (Christelle Note: Those were my heart hands on TV!), but instead I casually replied, "Yes. I really do."

Actually, I'm not sure what I said. In my mind, I remained cool. For all I know I could've blurted out, "YES YES I LOVE THEM AND I WILL FOLLOW THEM UNTIL THE DAY I DIE!" but she smiled and asked, "Are you going to the show tonight?"

And I got extremely sad. Because I was not going to the show and all those feelings I had felt earlier were about to erupt and embarrass me in front of this stranger.

"No... we're not. We wanted to but don't have tickets."

And then she pulled out three tickets. And she fanned them out like they do in the movies. And then she said, "Now you are."

I kid you not. This shit actually happened. I blacked out what happened next because the only nourishment I had all day was a caramel frappucino, a bottle of watter, and two cans of Pepsi (sponsor of the iHeartRadio Village). I'm pretty sure we group-hugged this kind, magnificent stranger and I jumped around the desert alternately screaming and gagging and crying.

I needed that moment. Hell, I needed that day. Everyone needs a day that makes them go, "HOLY SHIT I'M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE. " I needed to be so excited about something that my stomach felt like  emptying out the free Pepsis it had been forcefed. I needed to feel like a crazy, pre-teen lunatic.

Long story short: My love for One Direction is the stuff unicorns and rainbows are made of. Niall is my lucky charm and because of him I got to see Ed Sheeran, Weezer, Train, Iggy Azalea, 50 Cent, Lil Jon, Calvin Harris, and Paramore. And One Direction. Because I cannot escape them no matter what I do.

The festival will air on The CW network on September 29 & 30 from 8-10pm as a two-night special.

-Christelle :) x

HASHTAG BLESSED.